Kick-Ass: The Hunted
by MakorraForeverEst2012
Summary: When Red Mist becomes the Motherfucker, Hit-Girl becomes obsessed with taking him down, but Dave warns her not to get to caught up in the hunt or she will become the hunted herself.
1. Prologue

"Shock Therapy or just some fucking bolts being shot into your bratty head!"

Hit-Girl was tied to a chair with a leather harness over her mouth. She was struggling mildly, for she knew this could be it. Where the fuck was Kick-Ass? Big Daddy is gone. And nobody could hear her scream. Yep, this was the end….

"So, you're probably wondering how the fucking hell I got tied up and gagged by one of the most fucking ugly super-villain's in the world, well I can honestly say that for the first time in my life…..somebody kicked my ass!"


	2. Chapter I: Life Is Pretty Fucked Up

Dave Lizewski found himself sitting on a computer. Yeah, just a normal piece of shit computer. He kept reading new articles of possible Kick-Ass appearances in the public (of course he knew that they were just a bunch of stupid ass wannabes), then after adjusting his glasses to make sure the picture was correct, he clicked on a small picture of a small figure in purple.

"Oh god Mindy, what the fuck did you do now?"

He enlarged an image of a girl on a rooftop with bloody swords in her hands. The article title read, "Hit-Girl back? Fans happy, Citizens enraged!"

Dave took off his glasses and put his head in his hands. Dave had already tried to walk away from the idea of Kick-Ass. Though he did find himself daydreaming of it sometimes, he knew how dangerous it was, and he knew how Marcus had tried to keep Mindy away from the super-hero business.

Dave heard a thumping on the window behind him, when he turned he saw a small purple figure hanging upside down.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Dave almost flew off of his damn chair. Hit-Girl waved and smiled happily through the window, and then went upwards out of Dave's sight. He knew that she was on the roof. Dave climbed the stairs two at a time and when he got to his roof he saw Mindy with her arms on her hips and her black cape waving in the cool breeze of the New York night.

"Mindy what the hell is going on, how and why are you up here?" Dave walked closer to her.

"I've got some news for you cockhead."

"I see your words haven't changed."

"Never have, never will, but anyway listen, you remember Red Mist right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Get this; he's changed his name to The Motherfucker."

Dave stood stunned, at first he felt a little surprised, and then he cracked up.

"He changed his name to The Motherfucker?!"

"I know right, the dumbest, and I mean the dumbest piece of shit name you could ever come up with!"

"But why are you up here Mindy?"

"Because I've been looking for him." She said as she pulled a pair of binoculars out

"Whoa wait time-out, how long have you kept this crap up?"

"Oh for about a couple weeks."

"What about school Mindy, how long have you been lying to Marcus about that?!"

"SHHHHHH, keep your goddamned fucking voice down, you want everybody to know my name?"

The two were silent as Hit-Girl laid on her stomach watching over the New York skyline. Dave waited after the awkwardness fell down a little bit.

"So where do you think he is?"

"Honestly Dave, I'm really not sure."

"Well, what if he was in his dad's office, I mean he's inherited the whole damn company!"

"Oh c'mon Dave, I doubt he would be stupid enough to be hiding in his own shithole off…"

She steered her binoculars towards the office of the Genovese family just out of curiosity from Dave's comment.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"What is it?" Dave knelt down by Mindy as she handed him the binoculars.

"Oh my sweet Jesus."

"You cannot tell me he is this big of a cunt to hide in his own office." Mindy replied to Dave's shock, but it was true, Chris Genovese (Red Mist, or more modernly The Motherfucker) was hiding in his own shithole office.


	3. Chapter II: Return? Maybe

"By the way whose grandma did he call to get that suit?!"

"Wait, he got a new suit?"

"I thought you saw it Mindy."

Hit-Girl grabbed back the binoculars and looked,

"Seriously, black and orange with a hockey goalie helmet, what a douche."

Hit-Girl finally stood up with Dave,

"I've got to go find out what this dumbass is up to."

As she was about to jump with her rope off of the roof, Dave reached out and grabbed her shoulder,

"Mindy, you've got to stop being Hit-Girl for a while, you know, lay low."

"But if I lay low, what fun will it be?"

"Well you could still beat the shit out of kids at school." Dave chuckled

Mindy gave a small but re-assuring smile,

"Fine, because you're my best friend, I'll hang up the cape for a while, but that doesn't mean I still won't be watching Chris."

"Who's Chris?"

"The Motherfucker you fucking retard!" Mindy put her hand to her head

"Oh yeah, that's right."

"Well I better go home, make sure Marcus didn't order a search warrant for me."

"Ok, so I'll see you…"

"Tomorrow, you gotta come pick me up."

"Alright, fine, I will."

Mindy hugged Dave, the two exchanged smiles and then Mindy leaped from the top of the building in the silhouette of the moon. Dave went back into his messy messed up pile of shit room and back onto the computer.

"What the…?"

On the screen was a message,

"I'm watching."-The Motherfucker

"What kind of an idiot leaves his own name on a message when he doesn't want you to know it's him."

Well obviously, this was the kind of dumbass who would do that kind of a thing. Dave knew that Chris was his enemy, but how the hell did Chris hack onto his computer. It turned out that Chris had accidentally hacked into every computer into New York, and soon received phone calls complaining of frozen computers, shut down internet, and so on and so forth.

His only response over the phone,

"Kiss My Ass!"

Dave was getting ready to just shut down the computer, hell, it was 11:57 at night already. When another article on the news page caught his eye, the title read,

"When Will Kick-Ass Return?"

"When will I return, or will I return at all?"

That was pretty much what Dave Lizewski had been thinking about since he tried to live a Normal life. When would he end up putting the costume back on? What would law enforcement do? How would the city react?

Either way, Dave knew the day was approaching when he'd be out getting his Ass Kicked once again.


	4. Chapter III: The Usual Dumbasses

The next day, yep, good old damn hump day or Wednesday, Dave got up and went to meet Todd and Marty at their usual comic-book stop. When he stepped outside he saw a grey dingy sky.

"Wow, hump day, and now this rainy bullshit." Dave wasn't impressed with the drizzling grey sky, but he kept it to himself,

"At least, I got Battle Guy and Ass Kicker to talk to."

Dave walked a few blocks before he arrive at "_Fly Like Superman Comics_." What kind of a piece of shit name for a comic store was that? When he walked in, he was immediately noticed by Todd and Marty who both had their usual weekly copy of _Superman_ in their hands. Why the hell did it have to be _Superman_? Why couldn't it have been a "normal" superhero like _Batman_?

"Seriously, the Man of Steel again?" Dave walked up to the two

"Shhhh!" Both shot Dave evil eyes

Dave raised his hands in the air to say sorry. After what felt like a long five fucking minutes,

"So what's Kick-Ass been up to these days?" Todd asked after the two had closed their comics and walked up to Dave.

"Retirement as far as I see it." Dave sighed as he and the other two grabbed a few chairs.

"Do you think he'll come back?" Marty replied

"Maybe, a bunch of articles and Hit-Girl might have something to do with that whole damn idea."

"By the way how is the kid these days, is she retired with you?" Marty folded his arms and leaned back in his chair

"She tries, but she doesn't know any other way to live, Big Daddy taught her the only life she knows."

"You miss Big Daddy?" Todd broke his own silence, there was no response for a few seconds, only thought, _why the fuck did he have to leave her so early?!_

"Sometimes, I think about him, but all three of us know that it's bullshit if we think we miss him more than Hit-Girl." Dave quietly responded

All three sat quietly for a few moments before Dave looked at his watch.

"Oh shit!"

"What did you do now?" Todd and Marty both asked

"I've gotta pick Mindy up!"

"Holy shit dude, how late did you go to sleep last night?"

"Technically got in bed at twelve, but didn't sleep until four."

"Alright Dave sticking it to the clock!" Todd laughed

"What does that fucking mean?"

"I literally have no damn clue, just go pick Mindy up!"

"See you later retards!"

Dave quickly rushed out of the door. He ran the blocks back to his home and to his new beat up old piece of dog-shit car. As he was driving…

"Mindy is going to fuck me up."


	5. Chapter IV: Typical Fucking Hump Day

For Mindy Macready, this was just another shitty school day. Beat up a few assholes, eat lunch that smelt like horse-shit, and get the usual scolding from Principal Douche Bag. Now it was fucking getting worse, Dave was late, like twenty fucking damn minutes late. So naturally Mindy stood near the curb and waited.

When Dave and his crap car finally pulled up, Mindy glared at him, his gut felt like it was going to explode. Mindy got up and walked to the car, when she got in, she glanced around the inside.

"Where did you get this piece of shit?"

"I bought it from a friend."

"Well it sucks but, ok."

The two started to drive back to Dave's place silently.

"So are you sure Marcus said it would be okay for you to come over?"

"Yeah, he just wants me to check in with him every now or then."

As the two entered Staten Island, Dave noticed the two same black cars had been following their same route for a while. Dave finally turned to Mindy to ask her,

"Have you noticed these two…."

"Yep."

"When?"

"Miles ago."

Dave tried to put it out of his head but he couldn't. He began to wonder about Chris,

"Do you think their working for Chris?"

"Who else would be typical enough to send cocksuckers like these after us?" Mindy replied

A few seconds past when Dave saw through his back window that the men in the cars were pulling out guns. Really big fucking guns!

Dave stepped on the gas, as Mindy unzipped her bag. Dave glanced while he could at her,

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"What I do best." Mindy undid her seatbelt and leaped into the back of the car. As Dave kept the car up at about ninety miles per hour on the clear Staten freeway, he kept glancing back at Mindy. The next time he saw her, she was in the front seat. Purple hair, mask, costume, and all of her usual stash of weapons.

"Mindy, their guns are pretty damn heavy!"

"Yeah, well those cocksuckers won't see these one!"

"Won't see wh…..HOLY SHIT!"

Dave saw Mindy pull out dynamite sticks and matches out of the back,

"How the fuck did you get those!?"

"The old hideout that me and Big Daddy had!"

Hit-Girl rolled down her window and began lighting and throwing the dynamite sticks. Sure enough they were able to light the cars up. When Dave saw the two cars on fire and some of the guys on the ground he turned towards the window.

"Well I guess that's taken…..care…..of"

Hit-Girl was already out the window, and when Dave turned around to his back window again, he saw her beating the living shit out the men in the street. Hit-Girl lit one last stick of dynamite after shooting their fucking brains out and punching some of their teeth out of their mouths. She ran back to the car,

"Drive Dave!"

Dave punched the gas as the car sped off and the already on fire cars simply were lifted into the air once the last stick went off. As the two drove off together, Dave was panting.

"Who were those guys?!"

"You'll never believe this, both of the cars has license plates that read, MTHRFCKER."

Dave just sat and chuckled,

"Is Chris even a super villain or just some ass-hurt jerk that wants his daddy?!"

When the two got to Dave's home, Mindy was still in costume, and they had another problem to deal with, Marcus was waiting for the two in Dave's room.


	6. Chapter V: Marcus

"Hey Marcus!" Mindy sarcastically waved

"So I see you two have been having fun."

"Marcus, just listen for a second." Mindy sat down on Dave's bed

"Fine, explain to me Mindy." Marcus sighed as he folded his arms

"_These _guys came after _us_; we didn't go looking for trouble."

"I know trouble found you." Marcus lifted his hands in the air

"I'm sorry Marcus, but we had to do something about it."

"Mindy, I just want you to be safe, and I'm sure your dad would've wanted you to be too."

"Marcus, this is the only life I know, the only life I want, Hit-Girl isn't just my mask, and it's who I truly am."

Marcus sat quietly for a moment as Dave and Mindy exchanged looks, he put his head in his hands and then looked up at Mindy, he held his hands out and grabbed Mindy's,

"Mindy, I know that this is the only life you truly want, I just want you to never be in danger, but I know that's impossible, I just want someone to look after you."

"I think I already have him." Mindy looked up at Dave and smiled

"What do you mean?" Marcus looked into Mindy's eyes

Mindy looked at Dave as if to ask if she could tell something to Marcus, Dave nodded,

"Marcus, this is Kick-Ass."

Marcus looked up at Dave,

"You're Kick-Ass?"

"Yep, Mindy and I go on every patrol together."

Marcus looked back down at Mindy,

"Can I trust this guy?" Marcus pointed his thumb

"Marcus, we're best friends, trust him with everything."

"Well, alright, but I only ask one thing of you two."

The two sat silently for a few seconds before Marcus pointed at both of them,

"Don't Die."

Mindy walked up, took off her mask, and hugged Marcus,

"You're father would've been proud of you Mindy, you represent everything he stood for."

Mindy shed a tear before Marcus wiped it off,

"There isn't a day I don't think about him Marcus."

"He risked his life to help save this city, I know you'll do the same, but still, don't die."

Mindy chuckled then leaned into Marcus's ear,

"I love you Marcus."

"I love you too Mindy."

Dave stood with a few tears of his own before Mindy turned around,

"Stop being such a crying pussy Dave."

Dave and Marcus laughed,

"So are you two going to go out tonight?"

"Yep, just on a patrol though." Dave walked closer

"Alright, if you need me, you know where to call." Marcus said as he was heading out the door

"Bye Marcus." The two both said at the same time

"Bye guys, be careful."

Marcus took a deep breath after getting into the hallway.

"So where's your dad, and why weren't you at school today?" Mindy sat with Dave

"My dad works late, and I thought I should just ditch a day, always healthy every once in a while."

The two sat swinging their legs back and forth on the bed for a few moments silently,

"Ready to have a fucking rock n' roll night?" Mindy smiled

"Hell yeah."

Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl were back, and this time permanently.


	7. Chapter VI: 5 Dollar Fucking Foot-Long

"So what the hell do you want to do for the next two and half hours before we gotta go out?"

Dave sat quietly on his bed,

"Why don't we go get something to eat?" Dave looked up eagerly

"Dave, seriously, why the fuck do you always have to e…."

"Mindy, we still have like two and a half hours before patrol; I can digest it in that long."

Mindy crossed her arms and rolled her eyes before saying,

"Fine Dave, where would you like to go to dinner tonight!?" Mindy sarcastically waved her hands around

"How about Mickey D's?"

"McDonalds, Dave, you couldn't have picked anywhere else."

"I'm just in the damn mood."

"Fine, we will go get you a nice Happy Meal with some little piece of shit toy, but first let's go over to the hideout for a little bit to pick up some things."

Mindy got her costume off, while Dave got himself into some new clothes. He was pretty sure that he had either pissed himself or shit himself during the chase, but just to be sure, he put on some clean undies. When Mindy got into Dave's car it felt like a fucking inferno.

"Holy shit Dave; do you have any damn air conditioning in this hunk of junk?"

Dave reached for the air conditioning switch and sure enough discovered it wasn't turning on.

"This car just fucking sucks!" Dave hit the wheel

As Dave and Mindy started cruising to the hideout, the car got more and more seemingly humid even with Dave's windows down.

"I bet I burned the damn things out today when we were being chased."

"Old cars tend to just start collapsing no matter what the hell happens to them." Mindy looked at Dave trying to fan herself with her hand. When the two finally got to the hideout, Mindy went immediately to the computer.

"What are you looking up?"

"I'm just trying to see if any gangs are out tonight that we could fuck with."

While Mindy sat on the computer Dave picked up some of the supplies that Mindy had listed. When he looked over at the Hit-Car, he turned back to Mindy.

"Hey Mindy, are we just going to take the Hit-Car around tonight?"

"Nope, we're going on rooftops tonight."

"What, why the hell do we have to tonight?!"

"Maybe if we weren't going to McDonalds….."

"Fine, would Subway be any better." Mindy grew a sly smile on her face as Dave finally surrendered

"That's better; we'll come back and take the Hit-Car around later."

"Why not just take it now?"

"Dave, we only use it when we are our true identities, plus who the hell drives purple cars around anyway?"

"Yeah I guess that's true, alright I've got knives, guns, and explosives, anything else?"

"Yeah your batons might be nice." Mindy rolled her eyes

"I'm just a dumbass aren't I?"

"Couldn't be any more accurate." Mindy smiled

Mindy got off the computer, closed down the hideout, and got into Dave's car.

"Alright, let's go eat some fucking five dollar foot longs and then fuck these guys up!"


	8. Chapter VII: Patrol

When Dave and Mindy got back to the safe house and started eating, Dave kept glancing over at the Hit-Car.

"Holy shit Mindy, you didn't tell me the car was a Bugatti!"

"Yep, me and daddy had enough money piled up from our busts, we thought why the hell not?" Mindy shrugged her shoulders

The two continued eating silently for a few minutes. Finally the two got done eating,

"Alright, suit up." Mindy looked up at Dave

"Hell yeah." Dave smiled

The Hit-Car pulled out of the garage with roaring engine noise. Dave sat in the passenger seat amazed at all of the technology Mindy had in the car.

"Seriously, you've got a GPS that tells you were crimes are?"

"You know it, Daddy programed it like that."

After a few blocks, the two spotted around four or five guys fighting with two others. Hit-Girl stopped the car next to the curb,

"I'll let you take this one Kick-Ass." Dave looked at Mindy with an annoyed look

"Why, you're here with me."

"Because you need to get more experience in the hero business, just take care of it, if anything goes wrong I'm right here." Hit-Girl exclaimed as Kick-Ass climbed out of the car. He sighed to himself.

"Well alright then, I guess I'l…." Kick-Ass turned around to look back in the car and Hit-Girl was gone

"What the fuck, this isn't Batman Mindy." Kick-Ass whispered to himself

Kick-Ass turned the other way and began to walk towards the chaos. None of the men bothered to even turn around until he cleared his throat.

"Leave em alone." Kick-Ass said as he pulled his batons from his back

"Four against one, yeah I don't fucking think so." Kick-Ass noticed that all were in suits, gangsters' maybe?

When the biggest goon threw the first punch, Kick-Ass hit him square in the head with one of his batons. As the fight wore on, Dave actually found himself doing pretty well. That was, until one pulled a 45 caliber on him. Once again, Dave found himself trying to dodge bullets, he managed a few, and then one finally grazed him in the shoulder.

Dave was on the ground…..again. When the one with the gun put the pistol in Dave's face, he felt a tap on the shoulder. All of the men turned around away from Kick-Ass,

"If I wanted you cunts to kill Kick-Ass, I wouldn't be right behind your sorry asses."

When they pulled the gun on Hit-Girl, she sliced off the gunman's hand, and went to work. She weaved her way through them as Dave lay on the ground watching. Why can't I be her? Dave always had this thought running through his damn head.

When Hit-Girl had finished killing the thugs, the two walked over to the two beaten men on the ground.

"Thanks Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl, you got us out of a damn deep hole."

The two looked at each other,

"What kind of a hole?" Kick-Ass asked

"Oh, those were Genovese's guys; I don't know why they were down here though."

The two called 911 for the two injured guys, and left. When they had taken off, Dave looked over at Mindy,

"Chris is already trying to find us, which is why they were out tonight."

"Exactly, I doubt he will though, if anything we find him before he does us by a long shot."

Little did Dave and Mindy know, Chris Genovese was about to turn their world upside down right square on its ass.


	9. Chapter VIII: Red Mist No More

"How in the fuck are they all dead?!"

"Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl showed up." The Tumor replied

Chris rolled his eyes,

"Why the hell were they fighting two other fuckers anyway, they were supposed to be looking for those two assholes!"

"I guess those two found them first." Tumor shrugged his shoulders

"Be patient, soon they will be yours." Mother Russia calmly replied

Chris looked over at her,

"How can we get them to come to us?"

"Trap them."

"Your right, make those dumb motherfuckers believe that their coming to an empty lair." Chris rubbed his hands together.

"I want to kill Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl with my bare hands!"

"Do not worry, you will." Mother Russia smirked at him

"We need an informant, somebody who will be willing to set them up."

"Get one of your followers on Twitter to do it." Black Death responded

"Good idea, this is gonna be the greatest fucking moment in history!" Chris laughed


	10. Chapter IX: Mindy Date?

Mindy and Dave got back to the safe house quietly, with no fuss. They knew trouble might be looming over them. As they got out, Mindy got over to the computers and starting investigating anything on The Motherfucker's whereabouts as Dave sat nearby.

"I want to think that was just another mugging or something, but when they told us that those were Chris's guys, I couldn't set that aside."

"I know, it just never set in right that those guys were just randomly down here."

"Hey, why don't you see if anything came up on Twitter or Facebook?"

"You're right, there's always a chance some dumbass spilled something over the net."

After a few seconds of loading any data, the computer sure enough popped something up on Twitter.

"So the Motherfucker has his own Twitter page huh?"

"You've got to be fucking kidding, why?" Dave asked

"Says he wants to spread an evil army."

"Yeah tell him good luck with that."

After a few seconds of silence Mindy took off her purple hair and mask,

"Dave, why don't you go back to your apartment, you should get some rest."

"Yeah, you're probably right Mindy."

After a few minutes, Dave had his normal clothes back on. He smiled and waved at Mindy as he walked out of the safe house. She smiled back and then turned back towards the computer. When Dave got home he walked himself straight to his bed. Even though he was pretty damn beat, Dave thought about Mindy. He actually started to find himself actually having a crush on her.

"But how the hell do I pass going out with a freshman and I'm a junior, she barely is about to turn 16 and I'm 18." Dave thought to himself

Nevertheless, Dave wanted to take Mindy on a date. Just a normal simple night on the town. He thought about movies and maybe a bite to eat afterwards.

"I bet she'd like a good violent movie." Dave chuckled to his thought

Dave made up his mind that he'd ask her tomorrow. She'd probably say no, but it was worth a shot. Ever since Katie DeMeaux had broken up with him for talking to Mindy and making it look like he was cheating on her, he thought why not? Dave needed somebody special in his life.


	11. Chapter X: Dave Asks Mindy

After school the next day, Dave and Mindy were driving back to Dave's apartment together when Dave brought up his question.

"Mindy, I uh….I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it Dave?"

"Well, I was kinda wondering what you were doing tonight."

"Wait, are you asking me on a date Dave?"

"I….uh….yes." Dave blushed a little bit in his own embarrassment

"Dave, remember what happened to me the last time I went on a date?"

"Yeah but those guys were just a bunch of asswipes."

Mindy laughed a bit before looking back over a Dave.

"Where were you going to take me?"

"I was thinking of a movie with lots of blood and swearing in it."

Mindy smiled at Dave's perseverance to take her out,

"And you're ok with taking a sixteen year old on a date?"

"I'm only two years older than you are so I don't think it could be that perverted."

"It's not perverted." Mindy laughed

"So you're in?"

"I'm in." Mindy smiled into Dave's eyes

After a few seconds Mindy looked back over at Dave,

"But first you have to take me home."

Dave sighed and looked down at her,

"Fine, just be ready around seven."

After a few minutes Mindy was walking up the steps to her house, Dave waved and drove off. When she walked in she found Marcus sitting on the couch.

"Hey sweetie, how was your day?"

"It wasn't half bad, but guess what happened."

"What?"

"Dave asked me on a date."

Marcus nodded his head and curled his lips,

"Dave's a good guy Mindy, isn't he a little older though?"

"Only by two years." Mindy shrugged her shoulders

"So what are you two doing tonight?"

"Going to a movie."

Marcus nodded again,

"Well okay, you two have fun, what time is he coming to pick you up?"

"Around seven, he didn't want to be too damn late."

Marcus rolled his eyes at Mindy as she swore.

"Well, go get ready, and try not to swear okay."

"Okay, thanks Marcus."

"I love you Mindy."

"Love you too." Mindy said as she ran up the stairs

Mindy was looking forward to a break and normal night out. Little did Dave know it, but Mindy actually had a tiny crush on him too.

"This is going to be fucking fun." Mindy quietly said to her reflection in the mirror in her room.

Hit-Girl and Kick-Ass were going on a date..


End file.
